She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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