A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
