Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
