..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize