I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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