I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
