the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Randomize
