I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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