Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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