Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
