the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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