She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
