I am spending my child support on dildos
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize