Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
