I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
