He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize