He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
