I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Text me some of your sweat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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