That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
