i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
