the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
