i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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