My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
