If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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