Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
