At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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