Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
