Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
