He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We left an ass print on the piano.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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