New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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