He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize