I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
