I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize