HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
