i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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