Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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