it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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