I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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