Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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