I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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