Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
