that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
