my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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