I puked a lego.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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