we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize