Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
