Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
