you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
