I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
