we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this boner is exhausting
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
