I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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