so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize