Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize