Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
