It's Friday. Sex?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
