You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had to cum in my sink.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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