Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
