i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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