Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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