So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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