Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
