Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
