no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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