Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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