Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
