I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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