it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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