So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
