Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
