Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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